if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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