i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
