There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we're making bets on your personal life
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
