Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
