I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize