fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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