Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
