it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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