Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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