im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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