you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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