Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
