did you get engaged???
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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