I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
