matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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