i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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