it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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