I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
handjob tips. give me some.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
