Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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