Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
