At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize