How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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