Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
