You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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