I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
