Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
