I love black thongs
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
