i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize