my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dick very happy bro
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