Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
