You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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