Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
