How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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