DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
