Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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