OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it's like heaven, but drunker
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
