you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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