im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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