Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
