If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
