i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
that's an acceptable place to lick
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
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I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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