Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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