Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
