Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
