I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
