I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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