I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
A bitchslap is in order.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
