I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
