Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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