rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
