All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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