sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
