great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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