You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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