I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
