when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize