She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
