capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
