Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
