Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
