I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.