The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Manâ€™s Dating Profile
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.