she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.