8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to