Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
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