Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.

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(503): idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him. http://tfl.nu/3ewm

Replies (20) Good night (2831) Bad night (571)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.

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(404): I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me. http://tfl.nu/iup7

Replies (12) Good night (751) Bad night (4591)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.

(402): View more from Nebraska

but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.

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(515): Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs. (402): but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs. http://tfl.nu/7170

Replies (9) Good night (3761) Bad night (725)
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(619): View more from California

I'm passing your future prison.

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(619): I'm passing your future prison. http://tfl.nu/j7g6

Replies (15) Good night (4339) Bad night (1016)
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(914): View more from New York

i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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(914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar. http://tfl.nu/zfa3

Replies (12) Good night (4657) Bad night (744)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave

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(617): he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave http://tfl.nu/ypxh

Replies (32) Good night (627) Bad night (5008)
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(813): View more from Florida

Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

(1-813): View more from Florida

I ordered a moonbounce.

(813): View more from Florida

Fuck, you win.

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(813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv

Replies (39) Good night (10474) Bad night (1084)
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(979): View more from Texas

You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

(713): View more from Texas

When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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(979): You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands (713): When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things http://tfl.nu/2j2p

Replies (28) Good night (5493) Bad night (934)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.

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(704): all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back. http://tfl.nu/s19b

Replies (9) Good night (3541) Bad night (909)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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(847): Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat. http://tfl.nu/qyw3

Replies (8) Good night (2191) Bad night (556)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"

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(701): Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..? (1-701): No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup" http://tfl.nu/9q23

Replies (1) Good night (1689) Bad night (849)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.

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(732): I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this. http://tfl.nu/iud4

Replies (6) Good night (1867) Bad night (697)
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(519): View more from Ontario

It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.

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(519): It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case. (1-519): This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms. http://tfl.nu/o2fj

Replies (5) Good night (449) Bad night (630)
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(210): View more from Texas

My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.

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(210): My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels. http://tfl.nu/r3d1

Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (297)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~

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(504): Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~ http://tfl.nu/nmyu

Replies (5) Good night (341) Bad night (581)

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