I wish my penis had an off switch
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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