Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
