I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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