We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dick very happy bro
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
