Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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