dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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